PROLOGUE
“...and you can see that we, this little group, are making our own little histories here. They're little histories because it's just a small slice of *relatively* small lives, but--these histories, these slices of people are perfectly preserved in this medium. And they're perfect examples of what WE are, for the moment.” ~Margula
Since the beginning of time, women have instinctually gathered together. Traditionally, in many cultures throughout the ages, rites of passage such as menarche, birth and menopause were commonly recognized in sacred circles and celebrated. Traditions were passed down from each generation of women; lessons were taught and both emotional and physical support was provided. Intricate friendships were weaved and women could rely on one another for care during illness and assistance with childcare, cooking and household tasks. In many cultures this support was provided down the maternal line, the family house sheltering multiple generations at one time where women worked side by side with their kin to achieve their common goals. But in many other cases a woman moved far away from her family after she was married and had to forge new kinships, new sisterhoods, new circles of support among strangers.
** insert historical references here ***
As time passed, these circles decreased in frequency, being replaced by singular families. Families were expected to be reliant primarily unto themselves, rather than relying on their surrounding community. The newly structured nuclear family resulted in isolation of the family unit. Furthermore, when women entered the workforce not only were these female communities of support more difficult to come by, but women were expected to work and still carry on their roles of mother, wife and keeper of the home.
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Bonded by a common interest, childbirth, we came to know one another via a debate discussion board on a popular parenting website. Each of us already had small children, were pregnant or trying to conceive at the time and the debates over the array of choices that is available for birthing women brought to light many heated discussions and raw emotions. And, as time passed, a friendship developed between the core group of women who frequented the debate board. As we came to know one another better we decided to create our own group offsite so we would have the ability to discuss more taboo topics such as religion, politics and abortion, along with the hopes that we eventually could arrange an in-person get together. A sisterhood, a women’s circle of support, was on nobody’s mind. We simply shared a common interest in birth and a satirical sense of humor. Though the topic of a get together soon fell to the way side, it didn’t take us long to realize, and appreciate, the deep level of knowledge, experience and support that each woman possessed. The group came to mean different things to different people; however there was no doubt that we all have come to gain something from the group.
Our common interest in child birth options was what brought us together, but that was just about where our similarities ended. From the beginning our differences far outweighed our similarities. We were scattered all over the globe, in Australia, the United States, Canada and (where was Vicki from?) We were SAHM, teachers, nurses, computer programmers, doulas, students, scientists and health care workers; we were Catholics, Mormons, Calvinists, Agnostics, Atheists and Pagans; we were Republicans and Conservatives and non-political; we had anywhere from no kids to 5; 20 years spanned our ages and we came from all socioeconomic classes.
We will not pretend that these differences never mattered. They absolutely did. We debated, we fought and feelings were hurt. Some left and came back and a few others left for good. But in spite of all this, or because of it, we also *learned* so much. These group was a veritable wealth of knowledge, as the saying goes. And love. And support. We saw each other through everything from cancer to marital strife, from career changes to the education of our children. We also saw each other through the mundane with tips on how to keep on top of the daily clutter, or how to keep things going in the bedroom, and even how to find ‘lost’ tampons.
The topic of writing a book about childbirth, in fact, was one of the first things we discussed, even back then. We even had a few chapter titles picked out:
**Our Book; September 11 2005
Sample chapters: Chaper 1. Why stranded Beetles cannot give birth.
Chapter 2. If you cut me there, can I cut your
testicles?
Chapter 3. YOU run a marathon after only eating ice
chips.
Laura V.**
The entire basis to our book was an antithesis to “What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and the entire modern model of obstetrics and giving birth. Our purpose in writing a book has evolved in the years since then. As has our relationship as friends. Now we want to write a book to express, to share, how in a society of isolation and nuclear families, where the tradition of intergenerational households and communal living was gone, that you *can* find that sisterhood, the help and support so poignantly missing, in the time of computers and information and the World Wide Web.
This book has been a long time coming. We’re not sure if it will find an audience, or what we hope to accomplish with it. Maybe we just want it to bear witness to something that has meant so much to us all. At least, maybe it will be an entertaining read and at best, maybe it will provide some hope to the women who read it that they are not alone, despite being hundreds of miles from family and isolated in their home day after day, without the sisterhood that has sadly found its way from our culture. And maybe, by using the World Wide Web to create pathways and connections across vast distances, we can rediscover that sisterhood, in the way of the 21st century
“Imagine in 20 years, if you could come back and read these threads again. I expect I'd laugh my ass off...some at my own hubris, some at the predictions that didn't come true, some at the ones that did. But more than that...won't we be astounded at the true emotion and life that's been captured here?”
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