integrated posts

Okay, here's all we've written so far, combined and integrated. Tell me what you think:

PROLOGUE

“...and you can see that we, this little group, are making our own little histories here. They're little histories because it's just a small slice of *relatively* small lives, but--these histories, these slices of people are perfectly preserved in this medium. And they're perfect examples of what WE are, for the moment.” ~Margula

Since the beginning of time, women have instinctually gathered together. Traditionally, in many cultures throughout the ages, rites of passage such as menarche, birth and menopause were commonly recognized in sacred circles and celebrated. Traditions were passed down from each generation of women; lessons were taught and both emotional and physical support was provided. Intricate friendships were weaved and women could rely on one another for care during illness and assistance with childcare, cooking and household tasks.  In many cultures this support was provided down the maternal line, the family house sheltering multiple generations at one time where women worked side by side with their kin to achieve their common goals. But in many other cases a woman moved far away from her family after she was married and had to forge new kinships, new sisterhoods, new circles of support among strangers. 

** insert historical references here ***

As time passed, these circles decreased in frequency, being replaced by singular families. Families were expected to be reliant primarily unto themselves, rather than relying on their surrounding community. The newly structured nuclear family resulted in isolation of the family unit.  Furthermore, when women entered the workforce not only were these female communities of support more difficult to come by, but women were expected to work and still carry on their roles of mother, wife and keeper of the home. 

<<<>>

 

Bonded by a common interest, childbirth, we came to know one another via a debate discussion board on a popular parenting website. Each of us already had small children, were pregnant or trying to conceive at the time and the debates over the array of choices that is available for birthing women brought to light many heated discussions and raw emotions. And, as time passed, a friendship developed between the core group of women who frequented the debate board. As we came to know one another better we decided to create our own group offsite so we would have the ability to discuss more taboo topics such as religion, politics and abortion, along with the hopes that we eventually could arrange an in-person get together. A sisterhood, a women’s circle of support, was on nobody’s mind. We simply shared a common interest in birth and a satirical sense of humor. Though the topic of a get together soon fell to the way side, it didn’t take us long to realize, and appreciate, the deep level of knowledge, experience and support that each woman possessed. The group came to mean different things to different people; however there was no doubt that we all have come to gain something from the group.

 

Our common interest in child birth options was what brought us together, but that was just about where our similarities ended. From the beginning our differences far outweighed our similarities. We were scattered all over the globe, in Australia, the United States, Canada and (where was Vicki from?) We were SAHM, teachers, nurses, computer programmers, doulas, students, scientists and health care workers; we were Catholics, Mormons, Calvinists, Agnostics, Atheists and Pagans; we were Republicans and Conservatives and non-political; we had anywhere from no kids to 5; 20 years spanned our ages and we came from all socioeconomic classes. 

We will not pretend that these differences never mattered. They absolutely did. We debated, we fought and feelings were hurt. Some left and came back and a few others left for good. But in spite of all this, or because of it, we also *learned* so much. These group was a veritable wealth of knowledge, as the saying goes. And love. And support. We saw each other through everything from cancer to marital strife, from career changes to the education of our children. We also saw each other through the mundane with tips on how to keep on top of the daily clutter, or how to keep things going in the bedroom, and even how to find ‘lost’ tampons.

The topic of writing a book about childbirth, in fact, was one of the first things we discussed, even back then. We even had a few chapter titles picked out: 

**Our Book; September 11 2005  

Sample chapters: Chaper 1. Why stranded Beetles cannot give birth.
Chapter 2. If you cut me there, can I cut your
testicles?
Chapter 3. YOU run a marathon after only eating ice
chips. 

Laura V.**

The entire basis to our book was an antithesis to “What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and the entire modern model of obstetrics and giving birth. Our purpose in writing a book has evolved in the years since then. As has our relationship as friends. Now we want to write a book to express, to share, how in a society of isolation and nuclear families, where the tradition of intergenerational households and communal living was gone, that you *can* find that sisterhood, the help and support so poignantly missing, in the time of computers and information and the World Wide Web.

This book has been a long time coming. We’re not sure if it will find an audience, or what we hope to accomplish with it. Maybe we just want it to bear witness to something that has meant so much to us all. At least, maybe it will be an entertaining read and at best, maybe it will provide some hope to the women who read it that they are not alone, despite being hundreds of miles from family and isolated in their home day after day, without the sisterhood that has sadly found its way from our culture. And maybe, by using the World Wide Web to create pathways and connections across vast distances, we can rediscover that sisterhood, in the way of the 21st century

 

“Imagine in 20 years, if you could come back and read these threads again. I expect I'd laugh my ass off...some at my own hubris, some at the predictions that didn't come true, some at the ones that did. But more than that...won't we be astounded at the true emotion and life that's been captured here?”

Janelle

I still have not perfected sewing multiple threads together on here. I get an error message when I try to edit. I know this doesn't all flow together well, with stuff being repeated and all over the place. I'm hoping tomorrow I can cut and paste it all to my computer, edit it there, and repost it all. But I'll let you read the latest so you can comment and edit as you please:)

------

Our common interest in child birth options was what brought us together, but that was just about where our similarities ended. From the beginning our differences far outweighed our similarities. We were scattered all over the globe, in Australia, the United States, Canada and (where was Vicki from?) We were SAHM, teachers, nurses, computer programmers, doulas, students, scientists and health care workers; we were Catholics, Mormons, Calvinists, Agnostics, Atheists and Pagans; we were Republicans and Conservatives and non-political; we had anywhere from no kids to 5; 20 years spanned our ages and we came from all socioeconomic classes. 

We will not pretend that these differences never mattered. They absolutely did. We debated, we fought and feelings were hurt. Some left and came back and a few others left for good. But in spite of all this, or because of it, we also *learned* so much. These group was a veritable wealth of knowledge, as the saying goes. And love. And support. We saw each other through everything from cancer to marital strife, from career changes to the education of our children. We also saw each other through the mundane with tips on how to keep on top of the daily clutter, or how to keep things going in the bedroom, and even how to find ‘lost’ tampons.

This book has been a long time coming. We’re not sure if it will find an audience, or what we hope to accomplish with it. Maybe we just want it to bear witness to something that has meant so much to us all. At least, maybe it will be an entertaining read and at best, maybe it will provide some hope to the women who read it that they are not alone, despite being hundreds of miles from family and isolated in their home day after day, without the sisterhood that has sadly found its way from our culture. And maybe we can rediscover that sisterhood, in the way of the 21st century.  

Prologue, take 2

“...and you can see that we, this little group, are making our own little histories here. They're little histories because it's just a small slice of *relatively* small lives, but--these histories, these slices of people are perfectly preserved in this medium. And they're perfect examples of what WE are, for the moment.” ~Margula


Since the beginning of time, women have instinctually gathered together. Traditionally, in many cultures throughout the ages, rites of passage such as menarche, birth and menopause were commonly recognized in sacred circles and celebrated. Traditions were passed down from each generation of women, lessons were taught and both emotional and physical support was provided. Intricate friendships were weaved and women could rely on one another for care during illness, assistance with childcare, cooking and household tasks.

** insert historical references here ***

As time passed, these circles decreased in frequency, being replaced by singular families. Families were expected to be reliant primarily unto themselves, rather than relying on their surrounding community to support the children and family, resulting in a form of isolation. Furthermore, when women entered the workforce not only were these small communities of women more difficult to come by, but women were expected to work and still carry on their roles of mother, wife and keeper of the home.

It was in this spirit of community that we came to know one another and create a sisterhood amidst the hustle and bustle of today’s world. The World Wide Web has created pathways for connections across vast distances. Bonded by a common interest, childbirth, we came to know one another via a debate discussion board on a popular parenting website. Each of us already had small children, were pregnant or trying to conceive at the time and the debates over the array of choices that is available for birthing women brought to light many heated discussions and raw emotions.

As time passed, a friendship developed between the core group of women who frequented the debate board. As we came to know one another better we decided to create our own group offsite so we would have the ability to discuss more taboo topics such as religion, politics and abortion, along with the hopes that we eventually could arrange an in-person get together. A sisterhood, a women’s circle of support, was on nobody’s mind. We simply shared a common interest in birth and a satirical sense of humor. Though the topic of a get together soon fell to the way side, it didn’t take us long to realize, and appreciate, the deep level of knowledge, experience and support that each woman possessed. The group came to mean different things to different people; however there was no doubt that we all have come to gain something from the group.

** insert more info about who we are, what we do, etc etc ***

The topic of writing a book about childbirth, in fact, was one of the first things we discussed, even back then. We even had a few chapter titles picked out: Our Book; September 11 2005 Verituserum Truthpotion (Laura V) <<>>> Sample chapters: Chaper 1. Why stranded Beetles cannot give birth. 
Chapter 2. If you cut me there, can I cut your 
testicles? 
Chapter 3. YOU run a marathon after only eating ice 
chips. The entire basis to our book was an antithesis to “What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and the entire modern model of obstetrics and giving birth. Our purpose in writing a book has evolved in the years since then. As has our relationship as friends. Now we want to write a book to express, to share, how in a society of isolation and nuclear families, where the tradition of intergenerational households and communal living was gone, that you *can* find that sisterhood, the help and support so poignantly missing, in the time of computers and information and the World Wide Web. <<>>

*** insert closing statement about this just being what we have learned from one another... we aren't experts, disclaimers, yada yada yada... ***

“Imagine in 20 years, if you could come back and read these threads again. I expect I'd laugh my ass off...some at my own hubris, some at the predictions that didn't come true, some at the ones that did. But more than that...won't we be astounded at the true emotion and life that's been captured here?”

I have written the following. I had forgotten about your last paragraph Janelle, so some of mine copies what you've written (though doesn't sound nearly as good:P), but I'll post it anyway in case there is something of use in it. I am keeping a file on my computer with snippets of thoughts as I think of them (I think best in bed at night and in the shower), and I find it easier to write them down in that medium and then transfer them here: When we formed our group in September of 2005 it was for two reasons: One, we wanted to discuss all the taboo topics of the public boards like religion and abortion, and two, we wanted to arrange a get together. A sisterhood, a women’s circle of support, was on nobody’s mind. We simply shared a common interest in birth and a satirical sense of humour. Though the topic of a get together soon fell to the way side, it didn’t take us long to realize, and appreciate, the deep level of knowledge, and experience and *support* that each woman possessed. Of course, the group meant different things to different people, and more for some than others. But there was no doubt that we all received something from the group. The topic of writing a book about childbirth, in fact, was one of the first things we discussed, even back then. We even had a few chapter titles picked out: Our Book; September 11 2005 Verituserum Truthpotion (Laura V) <<>>> Sample chapters: Chaper 1. Why stranded Beetles cannot give birth. 
Chapter 2. If you cut me there, can I cut your 
testicles? 
Chapter 3. YOU run a marathon after only eating ice 
chips. The entire basis to our book, was an antithesis to “What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and the entire modern model of obstetrics and giving birth. Our purpose in writing a book has evolved in the years since then. As has our relationship as friends. Now we want to write a book to express, to share, how in a society of isolation and nuclear families, where the tradition of intergenerational households and communal living was gone, that you *can* find that sisterhood, the help and support so poignantly missing, in the time of computers and information and the world wide web. <<>> Tracy

In response to Tracy

I am 100% in agreement with you, my darling. My vision is the same.. opening quotes from threads with witty titles (Marg would be amazing at this!), definitely Xanadu opening up our prologue, narratives with maybe those "grey boxes" with pieces of threads in it where they pertain, using the threads as chapter inspirations.

IMO, I think our group is secondary to what we have learned. So, in my vision we open with who we are and what we do/have done, why a women's group is so important even over the internet... that's the prologue so it gives the reader background on where we are coming from--that it's the cummulative lessons of 30 or so women learning and growing together, etc. From there each individual chapter on a topic and we glean from our threads material for each. So, we have topics on pregnancy (including things like sex in pregnancy!), birth, loss (we have a good chunk of pregnancy loss stuff) and infertility (can m/c and infertility go hand in hand, you think?), illness, shape of a mother (we'd have to call it something else.. but I think this one is sooo important!!), so on and so forth.

Personally, I would like to see our birth chapter open with Julie's canoe poem, with her permission of course. And if we have some sort of mothering or family life chapter I selfishly would like to have my poem I wrote for Kayla open it up :-) :-) :-)

In *my* vision, using Amanda's blog idea, I envisioned many of us coming on here and adding to stuff or giving citations, things like that... that's why I started the prologue and hoped people would add to, tweak it, etc etc.

I think that sounds really good Janelle. It does need to be longer, with more historical background and more about how our group developed. 

I think that it would be way too confusing and boring to simply use our threads as topics. It's hard enough for us to follow a thread with 30 participants, let alone some outside party. This is what I envision:

1. Marg or someone definitely should make up some satirical and witty chapter titles other than the standard boring ones.

2. Each chapter should start with a quote from one of our threads that summarizes or speaks to the nature of the topic of said chapter. Marg's Xanada post would be good to start the intro with. 

3. Through out each chapter we should be in posts or sections of threads that pertain to the given topic.  Make it a combination of narrative and snippets of our threads.

4. We need to narrow down our theme. If it's too wide and varying people will get lost. Either the focus is us and our support group in the word of technology (in which case our chapters and topics would pertain to how we have supported each other in the ways you can when you live thousands of miles apart, through illnesses and death and loss of friendship and all the  million challenges we face as mothers in an isolated nuclear family), or our group is secondary to all that we have learned and debated and discovered about all the steps of parenting, from conception through to discipline (ie think of all the topics on Baby Centre for the topics we could discuss, and the realities of life as a mom in the 21st  century and how we have learned from each other about cultural and societal differences and how to work through these challenges).

I've never written a book before, but I think deciding on the structure of the book, and the main theme, what the book is *about* needs to be done before we start writing. Otherwise the writing will be all over the place with no focus or structure. It will waste a lot of time in editing and refining. 

Tracy

Intro/Prologue, take 1

A rough start.... we can build off, tweak, change of obliterate this..



Prologue:

“...and you can see that we, this little group, are making our own little histories here. They're little histories because it's just a small slice of *relatively* small lives, but--these histories, these slices of people are perfectly preserved in this medium. And they're perfect examples of what WE are, for the moment.” ~Margula

Since the beginning of time, women have gathered together. Rites of passage such as menarche, birth and menopause were commonly recognized in sacred circles and celebrated. Traditions were passed down from each generation of women, lessons were taught and emotional support was provided. Intricate friendships were weaved and women could rely on one another for care during illness, assistance with childcare, cooking and household tasks. As time passed, these circles decreased in frequency, gradually being replaced by the nuclear family. When women entered the workforce not only were these small communities of women hard to come by, but women were expected to work and still carry on the role of mother, wife and keeper of the home.

(obviously we need more here...)

It was in this spirit of community that we came to know one another and create a sisterhood amidst the hustle and bustle of today’s world. The World Wide Web has created pathways for connections across vast distances. Bonded by a common interest, childbirth, we came to know one another via a debate discussion board on a popular parenting website. Each of us already had small children, were pregnant or trying to conceive at the time and the debates over the array of choices available for birthing women brought to light many heated discussions and raw emotions.

A repository for excerpts that we'd like to include in the book?